


Enderwalking in the Snow

by thegay_herb



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Adopted Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Angst, Family Dynamic, Found Family, Injury, MCYTober (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Mild Blood, Minecraft, Other, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), kinda turns into fluff?, mcyt - Freeform, once again idk how to tag, theres no normal technoblade tags wtf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:55:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29794998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegay_herb/pseuds/thegay_herb
Summary: Technoblade and Philza go out looking for Ranboo after they find he's disappeared from his house early in the morning. Unfortunately, their search takes a turn south after dark...(idea credits to @vineuserless on instagram!!!)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 86





	1. The Search and Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> okay ik i posted once today already but we back at it again boisssss  
> TW//mentions of bl00d   
> it's not too much or too heavy but it does appear  
> stay safe much love <3

“Ranboo!” Technoblade and Philza called, trudging through the snow that had been laying there all day. Their boots were wet and soft crunches were heard as they advanced further into the darkening forest. Night was approaching and they had yet to find their friend and one man was about to give up hope.

“I don’t know if we’re going to find him, mate,” Philza said as he stopped for the first time in a few hours, taking in deep breaths of frigid air. The hybrid on the other hand only furrowed his brows in determination and kept going. He wasn't going to give up, not on Ranboo who had had worsening memory for the past few days. He had to at least try to find him.

With a sigh and grunt, the older followed the path of his son and decided to continue with this search just a bit longer. Technoblade barely paid mind, cape flowing as a breeze passed through that chilled them both to their cores.

They had been outside since not long after sunrise. Noticing that a certain endermen hybrid didn’t reside in his shelter as he usually did so early in the morning, uncovering that there were footsteps leading out into the snow but his armor had been left behind. Both had looked at each other, knowing this wasn’t typical and agreed that a search would start immediately in hopes to find the young boy.

“We will find him. We will. I just know it,” Technoblade said but it was almost a whisper, barely passing his lips. He said it more for himself than for Philza since he was starting to lose hope but he refused to show it. Nails digging into his palms, sweat dripping down his back even though it was freezing, he didn’t stop the whole day; not even to eat. Philza tried to bargain with him but it didn’t work and deep down he knew that until they had found Ranboo, Technoblade wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else.

Right as the male opened his mouth once more, a shuffling was heard not much deeper in the trees than where they stood. Technoblade’s long ears twitched at the new sound for it was larger than something like a rabbit or a mob.

It sounded like a half endermen named Ranboo. 

Quickening in pace and hoping to hear the noise once more, the hybrid unsheathed his axe just in case they were wrong. Philza followed suit and brought out his sword, the material glinting in the moonlight as a steady and light snowfall began. Breathing heavier now, Technoblade’s eyes darted along the trees until he heard the noise again that was almost immediately followed by what sounded like speech but it was almost completely incomprehensible.

“Ranboo?” Philza decided to call and the speech grew a bit louder. Both gripped at their weapons as the younger led the way.

His eyes finally caught glimpse of something and it seemed to be-

A green emerald glinting.

Smile growing on his face, Technoblade yelled Ranboo’s name as the figure finally came into view.

“Ranboo! What are you doing out here?” he teased, unaware of anything unusual about his friend.

But Philza on the other hand noticed how still yet uncoordinated the younger stood, eyes more vibrant than usual and his mouth seemed… misshapen almost. Teeth now etched into his skin and fingers twitching at his sides with his head tilted and he wasn’t so sure why it was so off putting as he came to a full stop. Their friend was barely breathing it seemed, chest moving less than usual and none of this dawned on Technoblade as he drew closer to the hybrid.

“This is a weird place to be, especially since we’ve been looking for you all day.” His arm was lowered, swinging slightly with the axe still in his hand and silence responded. That was until Ranboo’s head darted up and eye contact was made.

Almost immediately, the younger pounced forward towards Technoblade and Philza screamed, “Watch out! Technoblade!” 

Panic flooding his face, Technoblade jumped back from Ranboo’s attack but he didn’t have any more time to ask what was going on or even think about his questions. Instead, he stumbled back and fell directly into the freezing snow and a shocked shiver racked his body before Ranboo pounced onto him. Just at the right moment, the older pulled up his axe and stuck wood between Ranboo’s teeth that had tried to bite into him. Adrenaline rushed through his veins, shallow breaths causing small clouds of heat to dissipate in the cold air and he watched one of his closest companions struggle against the axe, long and sharp fingers dug into Technoblade’s sides and he gasped in pain.

It was almost as if they couldn’t stop making eye contact and Technoblade would have screamed from whatever emotion that was currently fogging his brain if he hadn’t realized how… wrong Ranboo looked.

“Ranboo, stop this!” the hybrid shouted, jaw clenched as he pushed harder and tried not to throw back his head from the pain of the fingers digging into his sides. They hadn’t yet breached skin but they were too close to doing so for comfort.

Shaking and frozen by his own confusion, Philza could only stare as his son laid on the ground, grunting and struggling as he shoved with Ranboo. It only dawned on him what was wrong when he finally recalled memories of something similar happening before to Ranboo’s body.

He was enderwalking.

“Techno! He’s not conscious! He’s enderwalking! This is why his memory was getting worse these past few days! It was building up to this!”

Gasping as fingers pushed harder into his side, it took everything in him not to scream as he felt blood steadily drip down his skin and stain his shirt.

“He’s-” Technoblade was cut off as he tried to shove once more but he wasn’t strong enough compared to Ranboo. “He’s not conscious?!”

Thinking to himself, the male currently pinned to the ground realized there was no getting out of this easily; especially not with the pain covering his torso and axe shoved between his friends teeth. He only had one idea here.

“Ranboo! Listen to me! You need to wake up!” he shouted desperately, fingers straining. “I know you’re in there! You have to listen, Ranboo! Please!”

Tears rushing down his face, Philza watched his son throw his head back in pain before gritting his teeth and pushing harder, both with his words and arms.

“You can stop this! I know you can!”

“Ranboo, please listen to him! Listen to us!” Philza joined in.

Technoblade would have barely noticed it with his now blurred vision, only cluing in when the fingers dug into his sides relaxed slightly and wetness now on his neck that was much warmer than snow. Taking in a deep and shaky breath, he focused his sight further as the force against his arms wasn’t so strong.

Tears. There were tears that fell from Ranboo’s eyes that now glimmered with water and not whatever caused them to glow while in his enderwalk state. Tears are what dripped off onto Technoblade’s neck and face in big droplets. He noticed Ranboo’s body begin to shake, mouth morphing back to its usual form and he could only stare. 

Muffled noises were heard and the person who still lay in the snow hesitantly removed the wood of his axe from his friend’s mouth. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry, Techno. I’m sorry.” It was like a chant and Technoblade couldn’t help but focus on the words as more tears fell onto him that he couldn’t bother to wipe away. The heat that grew on his sides was ignored also as he threw his axe to the side and watched as Ranboo’s eyes dropped to his hands, quickly removing his fingers from the wounds he’d caused.

Throwing his arms around Technoblade’s neck, Ranboo held onto his friend, someone who he considered a brother, sobs echoing the forest around them and all the other two could do was freeze.

Shaking his head, Philza broke out of whatever daze he had been caught in and ran to the two boys, dropping to his knees as he put his sword away.

“Ranboo. Ranboo listen to me,” he said softly, instincts and adrenaline kicking in, tears from only minutes ago drying on his red cheeks.

“You need to get off Techno. C’mon.” 

Ranboo lifted up his head and burn marks were evident on his face from his own tears but he barely seemed to acknowledge it. Coming to with reality, he quickly threw himself off and away from Technoblade, landing with a soft thunk into the snow. Usually he would notice the sting from the water of snow that had melted beneath him but now all he could focus on was the way red pooled and covered the white surrounding him before dissipating and staining. 

“It was my fault. I did that,” he thought to himself as Philza slowly sat up Technoblade who seemed weak and out of it. Whispers were exchanged and Ranboo’s tears fell faster down his cheeks as his breathing quickened from fear and regret. His enderwalk state usually made him forget whatever had happened but he couldn’t forget the way Technoblade’s eyes had glazed over with fear and pain as he stared up at him just minutes before.

“Ranboo,” Philza said quietly, unable to look at the half endermen currently. “Let’s go home.”

Shaking off his thoughts and pushing himself from the freezing grass and snow, Ranboo nodded even though no one was looking at him to see it. Philza picked up Technoblade and held him close, wings wrapping around himself and the figure that was almost limp in his arms and began walking back towards the house.

They trudged along for what felt like days but was really only somewhere around an hour, lucky that mobs weren’t spawning near them. Technoblade was barely conscious, blood still seeping into the cloth that Philza had wrapped around him, hands held to his torso and chest as his head lolled back. Ranboo sniffled the whole way home and stared at his blood covered fingers. They glinted under the moonlight and only showed a red tint along the black skin and the regret ate at him further and further. Philza was silent most of the way, only speaking to whisper reassurances to Technoblade that they were so close, almost there.

And eventually they were. Smoke spilled out of the chimney and Philza thanked whatever god was out there that the fire hadn’t died yet. It was unsafe to keep the flame burning for that long and unsupervised but Philza had some gut feeling that it would be good to have it still going once they arrived back home. He was right.

The group made their way through the door and paid no mind to removing boots that were covered in water and ice. Philza, surprisingly not panicked or frantic unlike Ranboo who was currently shaking and still crying as he stood by the closed door, set Technoblade down next to the fire. He added more wood and watched as the flame grew a bit higher.

Technoblade grunted as he was placed down and his sight grew blurier and blurier, head drifting off before Philza carefully shook him, saying how he wasn’t allowed to fall asleep just yet. He would have protested if it weren’t for the gnawing pain eating at his torso and he couldn’t begin to imagine how Ranboo clawed so deep with his fingers but was also too tired to try.

Stings repeated along Ranboo’s body and he grimaced at each tear and knew it would leave scars but he could barely concentrate on that. All he could pay attention to was his friend who laid on the floor, being wrapped with bandages because of wounds that he had caused and the guilt and shame that settled in his stomach. 

“It’s okay, Techno. It’s okay,” Philza said softly, finished with his repairs on the weak man's torso. “You can rest now. You need to.” His slightly shaky fingers raked through his son's dirty hair and he watched as his breathing slowed and eyes drifted closed.

“Ranboo,” he said quietly, standing from the floor and draping a cape over Technoblade’s body. The endermen stood at attention, sniffling once more and walking closer, trying to ignore his blood caked fingers.

“I know you want to fully blame yourself for this. Don’t. You didn’t have control over yourself.” The older didn’t looked Ranboo in the eyes, knowing that that would most likely cause more distress and instead just stared down at his son who was now sleeping peacefully.

Stepping forward just a bit more, floorboards creaking under him, Ranboo inspected Philza and dared not to wipe away his own tears. 

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to. I remember what happened and I don’t know why but I wouldn’t have done that if I was aware-”

Gently shushing him, the blond spoke once more. “This wasn’t your fault. Techno will also understand this. You’re welcome to stay the night but only because I know you’re worried and I’ll be awake the entire time to make sure nothing bad happens.” He tried not to let any bitterness lace his tone but it did anyways and Ranboo winced at it.

Slowly and hesitantly, Ranboo made his way over to the wall across from the two males in front of the fire and sank down to the floor, curling into himself and wrapping his tail around his torso.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again and finally wiped away his tears with his wrist, shaking as he tried not to look at his still red tinted hands. 

Making his way to a chest, Philza pulled out a cloth and put some hand sanitizer on it before handing it to Ranboo.

“I’d have you wash your hands. But you’ve touched enough water tonight,” he said, more gently than his last sentence, holding the object dangling from his also somewhat bloody fingertips in Ranboo’s general direction. “I also will not look you in the eyes right now. It will hurt more than usual, I know that.”

The hybrid would have spoken if it weren’t for a clogging feeling filling up his throat as he grabbed the cloth and began to wipe off his fingers. It felt like honey had drenched his mouth and he couldn’t get it open to speak. But at least he had finally stopped crying.

Night passed on, Philza sitting beside Technoblade with his wings tucked securely behind his back and Ranboo in the same position the entire time as he just stared at his friend. Neither slept but conversation didn’t start either, knowingness filling the air as the fire cracked and Technoblade’s quiet breaths could be heard.

The conversation that was going to happen could wait. And they both knew that.


	2. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After last night's adventures, Philza has a talk with Ranboo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy lovelies <333  
> TW//mentions of bl00d once or twice  
> stay safe

Droplets of rain patted along the exterior of the quiet house, clouds stirring into endless waves of dark grey and it was all Ranboo could keep his eyes on. Patiently awaiting for the second his friend would wake up, the boy sat for hours unable to drift off to sleep.

Same went for Philza who clenched his jaw in concentration with his eyes still trained onto his sons resting figure, cloaked in a vibrant red cape with specks of dried brown blood. Thinking about last night made bile rise in his stomach and a burning feeling etch it’s way across his body but he refused to delve into it.

Neither dared to speak the entire night; even as Philza stood every so often to stoke at the fire calmly, fingers pale as he gripped the metal so tightly it hurt. It was almost his way of keeping himself tuned in because if he didn’t do just that, he’d fall further and further into his tornado of thoughts that gnawed at him like he was just some rotten feast and they were maggots. Even while Ranboo bit the inside of his cheek so hard it almost drew blood as he forced himself not to cry.

He couldn’t cry anymore.

Swirling in his own brain, spiraling in shame, Ranboo wouldn’t let himself shed another tear, burn himself once more. Enough pain had happened the night previous to last him a lifetime.

“Y’know,” Philza finally spoke, voice croaky almost as he fiddled with his hands, staring at them in earnest, drawing the hybrid away from his own mind. “When I lost Wilbur- well,” the man scoffed to himself. “When I killed Wilbur, it was one of the worst days in my life.”

Listening intently, Ranboo leaned in; he was almost grateful for the distraction.

“Which is funny if you think about it. In my whole lifetime, the centuries of me living, I don’t remember experiencing as much pain as I did when-” He was unable to finish his sentence and instead gestured his hand out quickly before drawing back into himself, leaning against the wall with wings securely folded behind him.

“When ‘you know what’ happened.”

With a sincere nod and shaking body, Ranboo shifted himself up and straightened his back, eyes gleaming yet dull. This story wasn’t going anywhere good most likely but he felt… compelled to let himself indulge in this weird feeling burning inside him.

Chuckling and ruffling his own dirty and matted hair, Philza continued. “It was almost as if I’d lost part of me. Like someone had ripped my heart out and stepped on it until it sputtered and died.” The man grimaced at his own description but it felt the right way to word things so he went with it. “I never thought I’d get even close to that feeling ever again. I prayed I’d never get close to that feeling ever again.”

Gulping quietly and eyes drifting to Technoblade who lay peacefully, Ranboo felt as if he knew where this was going and it made the burning hotter and vile in his torso. His gaze ran along the sleeping body of his friend and he squinted; if you looked hard enough it was almost like nothing was wrong.

“But last night,” the blond said, throwing back his head and taking in a deep breath. “Last night I was so close again. I watched helplessly as my son grunted in pain and then when you-” His voice cracked and a sniffle was heard. This was getting rougher and rougher to talk about. “When you started crying it felt like my world was tearing apart. It hurt so fucking much to watch that and god the regret I will feel until my dying days will be the one thing to eat me whole.”

“Phil I-”

“No. Let me finish,” he interrupted, wiping his face on his dirtied green sleeve before taking in a deep breath and continuing. 

“I want you to understand, Ranboo. I want you to… to get that we all do things. I am years and years old. I have been here since before the legends in fairytales existed, since before any of you were even a thought in someone's mind. I have seen centuries of pain and suffering but you learn something after being around that long.”

Ranboo tilted his head in interest and looked back at Philza’s slightly shaking self, eyes still glued to the ceiling. Maybe it was easier to not cry that way.

“That we all make mistakes. That bad things will happen and we can’t always do anything about it. All we can do is pray for a better tomorrow, hold our loved ones close and learn. You have to understand that, Ranboo. Understand that before you go blaming yourself and it kills you slowly.”

Silence was held for just a few seconds, the only sounds being cracking wood and small ‘thunks’ against the outside walls.

“You had no control. You weren’t awake. That isn’t and will never be your fault. Okay?” Philza’s head finally drifted back up but all he did was look back down to Technoblade which seemed to be a recurring thing. 

That wretched burning feeling in his stomach died down and left an emptiness in its wake. Ranboo’s body felt cold and he pulled his knees further into himself, shivering. He was still trying to process everything the man that stood in front of him said, trying to let it dissipate into his bones and settle so he would finally stop feeling so much guilt and disgust in himself.

“Okay. I’ll… try and remember that.”

Sniffling and wiping off a few more remaining tears on his reddened face, Philza nodded and decided to hold out his arms in Ranboo’s direction. It was an invitation.

“I know it’s been dwelling inside your mind all night. C’mere and give me a hug. I know you want one.”

It was almost light, the way Philza had said it. The sentence broke the tension that had surfaced in the room, cracking and destroying the walls that had been up for all those hours before the sun had risen. Giddiness filled Ranboo’s chest as he stood and stumbled over to the shorter male, lanky legs shaking from being curled up so long. 

They embraced but Philza, being much shorter than the hybrid, barely reached Ranboo’s chest but they accepted it. It was somewhat odd to the both of them and a light laugh echoed the small house.

“Mate, what did we say about being so tall?” Philza teased.

“Oh right. Sorry I keep forgetting. I need to grow shorter, right?”

Everything felt a bit better for just a moment. Fear and guilt were outshined by this temporary joy the two had as they were holding on tightly. Philza always tried to include Ranboo in their broken little family and it was a hard thing to do sometimes but hey, he murdered his own son and helped blow up a nation; he could handle an endermen with memory problems, right?

Just as Ranboo was about to speak once more, Technoblade stirred which sent the two flying off each other and down at the male’s side. 

Philza sat closest to his head and immediately wrapped his hand gently around his son’s scalp, rubbing soft circles onto the dulled pink hair with his calloused thumb.

“W- what happened?” Technoblade slurred, attempting to sit up only to gasp and fall back to the ground with a thud. Philza and Ranboo both frantically looked down at the hybrid and reassured him that he should stay down and keep it that way.

Technoblade could only groan in confusion while blinking away his weariness, weak arms reaching to touch his, for some reason, aching sides with soft pushes against… bandaged skin? The cape fell further off his body to reveal his torso that he now realized was freezing.

“Where’s my shirt?” he groaned, pulling his cape back over his bare skin and closing his eyes once more, head still directed at Philza as his face contorted in pain.

The oldest sighed and patted along Technoblade’s arms.

“Techno, do you remember any of last night?”

It was obvious the wheels were turning in the man's head as he forced himself to think about it further. Ranboo could only watch and wait but knew how fearful he truly was that Philza was wrong and that Technoblade wouldn’t forgive him.

“I remember… looking for Ranboo for a long time. We found him I think and then-” Eyes shooting open and darting towards Ranboo’s slumped body by his side, Technoblade searched for any features he remembered from last night only to realize they were gone. This was their Ranboo. The actual one. Not the one with teeth ingrained into his cheeks or vibrant, painfully vibrant eyes that swallowed him whole. No. Their Ranboo. The one with a kind soul and forgetful mind.

“Oh fuck, he’s fine. Good. Good,” Technoblade sighed before letting his head softly fall back onto the floor.

Surprised by what just happened, Philza tilted his head to look further at Technoblade’s now much more rested face. Ranboo followed lead before quietly poking at the blond and then pointing at the person who was currently lying on the floor, specifically at his torso. Understanding crossed the olders face and he tapped his son lightly.

“Okay, before we talk any further I need to look at your wounds.”

“Yeah, I was about to ask as to what the fuck happened that makes my sides so painful currently- And I just remembered.”

Ranboo panicked, opening his mouth and about to let frantic words spill out before he was interrupted almost instantaneously. 

“I also remember you were enderwalking, Ranboo. Don’t you dare apologize because it’s unnecessary.”

The boy shut his mouth and let his hands fall into his lap like he was defeated. It was going to kill him if he didn’t at least apologize.

“I’m still sorry, Techno-”

“The main character apparently also has hearing problems which will make an even greater protagonist but listen to me when I say this: You do not need to say sorry. I’ve already forgiven you.”

That broke the dam that Ranboo had been holding in and he immediately hiccuped, tears spilling down his cheeks surprisingly fast and Philza’s eyes darted up to inspect the crying boy with worry.

“God so much is happening right now. Ranboo,” he said lightly which made Ranboo’s sobs quiet down and instead was replaced by unsteady hiccups. “Deep breaths. You’re scarring yourself on your cheeks.”

Brought to attention, the hybrid swiped at his face and sniffled, focusing on his hands. He’d give anything to look Philza in the eyes but he knew how much it hurt. So he didn’t and instead just waited and watched his long fingers curl around themselves. 

Satisfied, Philza continued. “Technoblade.” A groan was the only response. “You’re about to be kind of cold but I have to look at your bandages to make sure they didn’t bleed through. I changed them once last night and they were bloody as hell so I need to see again”

Throwing the cape off his son's torso and letting it land on top of his legs, Philza ran his fingers along the barely pink cloth secured around shivering skin. Reassured that the bleeding had gone down, evident by the spotting bits of almost non-apparent blood spots, he sighed in relief and grabbed the cape to tuck back over Technoblade’s body. He couldn’t help but chuckle at how the male grabbed it and nuzzled into its fur.

“Thankfully, the bleeding stopped a lot so no worries there. You won’t be able to move around too much for some time but you’ll live,” Philza said kindly, running his hands along Technoblade’s matted hair.

Sarcastically groaning and shutting his eyes tighter, unwilling to open them this whole time, Technoblade spoke. “Aw damn. Was really hoping the grim reaper was finally here to get me.”

All three couldn’t help but laugh, grateful to lighten the situation even as Ranboo was still sniffling and hiccuping, recovering from his almost crying fit not too long ago.

For this moment, it was okay again. Even with an injured man on the floor and scarred boys laughing at their pain, it would be alright. They were sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh and theres that!! i hope you liked it!! lemme know if you find any spelling mistakes <333  
> thank you for reading eueueueueueu  
> kiss kiss much love
> 
> -herb

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked chapter 1!! theres one more chapter after this bc i couldnt leave it alone the other night eueueueueueu  
> as always, lemme know if you find spelling mistakes or anything of the sorts  
> much love <3
> 
> -herb


End file.
